Epic Sampsons character biographies

	Homere Sampsons Born in 1944 as Homere Jay Sampsons during the great monkey wars of 1944. The war was so drastic that Springfield would not have any monkeys until the Springfield zoo asked for more in the 60's to avoid being filed for bankruptcy. His dad was Abe Sampsons and mom was Moner Sampsons. He had 4 brothers and 5 sisters. Their names were John Sampsons, Bob Sampsons, Rob Sampsons, Herb Sampsons, Molly Sampsons, Holly Sampsons, Jollie Sampsons, Jackie Sampsons and Jenny Sampsons. Homere Sampsons was the stupidest and Herb Sampsons was the cleverest contrary to post season 9 revisionism which claimed that all the males were stupid. This is proven by their grades and success at work. During his childhood, he would drink beer and watch TV which would be his main profession for the rest of his life. Homere would meet Morge Bouver in high school and after graduating, he would marry Morge and have 3 children, Bort, Liza and Muggie. He currently works at the Springfield nuclear powerplant under his boss, Mr. Burn. To this day he likes donuts, beer and television but hates Nad flenders, his neighbor and as well as his rebellious son, Bort and his along with Liza's drug addictions. Homere often skips work just to get lost in a jungle or wasteland and likes to film his wife having sex in private. He often gets angry at his family causing them to leave the house a few times. He once got so angry he strangled Bort to death and used his dead body as a racket to beat everyone else to death.This incident caused him to be jailed for a year and Bort to be resurrected after a bunch of fans wanted him back. This is what lead to the next seasons being Bort focused to pay for such a terrible act. While not the only main character, He is one of the most prominent in the Sampsons, with most of his episodes having him go on zany adventures in the jungles or wastelands or just trying to control Bort and keep his job at the powerplant.
	Morge Sampsons The wife of Homere Sampsons. Morge was also born in 1944. Her parents were Jackseline Bouver and Cany Bouver. She has 2 sisters, Petty and Sema. She would go to the same high school as Homere where they met. For her whole life she wanted to be a professional housewife. Morge is currently a housewife, looking after the house and her children while Homere works. After being married her surname would go from Bouver to Sampsons. She often tries to end Bort and Liza's drug addictions but fails every time. She loves doing housework but hates it when Homere hangs out with other girls as she gets jealous. She also dislikes Homere's laziness and the drug addictions of Bort and Liza.
	Bort Sampsons The Son and the oldest of the 3 children. He was born in 1975 to Morge and Homere Sampsons. Bort is a rebellious kid who hates authority so much to the point of becoming addicted to drugs. He attends Springfield elementary where he sells them. He has been expelled a million times. He is the second most prominent character from Homer with most of the episode revolving around him being expelled from school and finding something new. He loves drugs, pranks, skateboarding, Krosty the Klon, itty and scratty, radoactiveman and comics but he hates school, authority, principal skanner and Homere.
	Liza Sampsons The cleverest of the bunch, born in 1977, she hates school for being intellectually inferior compared to her. She is overly self-righteous about her beliefs and is seen as annoying by her entire family. Because no one likes her, she cries in the bathroom every hour a day while consuming steroids. She became so depressed that she would be jealous when Homere strangles Bort as she wants to be strangled herself. In the infamous Bort gets strangled and dies episode, she literally strangles herself for an entire hour.
	Muggie Sampsons The baby and the youngest of the 3, she was born in 1980. Muggie is often with Morge and is the most abused by Homere who sees her as a rag doll. She often gets sit on accidently, gets thrown around and kicked to a distance, mostly because her family is worried that she will become another Liza and is why Morge allows Homer to use Muggie as a rag doll whenever Homere is angry. She loves being with Morge and sucking her pacifier but hates being thrown around, kicked and being sit on.
	Grandpa/Abe Sampsons Abe Sampsons was born in 1920 and is the father of Homere Sampsons. He is of course much cleverer that Homere and much more competent. He now lives in the retirement home of Springfield after retiring as a war official and dog trainee. He is to this day disappointed in Homerer's family and Homere himself, seeing it as a failure. When visiting them, he often complains about how things were in his days but most of all, about how much Homere's family sucks, which leads to arguments between him and Homere. He loves the retirement home and the old days but he hates Homere and Homere's family and constantly tries to fix them up.