Review: The Sampsons Movie

The Sampsons Movie was released in 2007 and had its development started in 2005. One day in 2005, Mat Groning, years after he left the show, was sitting at his desk at FOX quietly until Mel Brooks came with a megaphone and shouted, "CAN YOU PLEASE MAKE A SAMPSONS MOVIE, NOW!" and so he did to avoid being fired. The Movie would be rushed and done within 2 years. It did badly at the box office only making about $1000 out of a budget of $10000 and got low reviews with most websites giving it a 10% or a 1 out of 10. Despite this, it was mass marketed and got tones of merch before its release, most of them being in a crappy bootleg tier quality.

Along with gadgets and toys, Characters would be plastered onto everything.

It was really that hyped to the point that people would make costumes of them.

Enough of this, the movie itself is rather mediocre. A lot say it’s terrible but it's not that bad. What made it worse was the marketing itself and the fact that it did not do well. The movie begins with a cinematic like the TV series, which is a nice touch but looks very visually different as it seems to use CGI in some places. The intro, however, gets paused the moment the house is shown as it zooms out to reveal a computer with Bort standing next to it.

This makes no sense, is Bort watching themselves? Maybe this is why it did so poorly, it this is a minor nitpick as it gets worse from here. We then hear Morge’s voice calling him for supper. He runs to the dinner table where he realizes that they ran out of food and are eating turnips. This angers Bart. Only 2 minutes into the movie and already we have action. This setup is just terrible.

Yes, the family are poor but not THAT poor and besides that, Bort has never been fussy about food in his life. Homere is of course a complete jackass here, shouting randomly and strangling Bort whenever he wants.

After that atrocity is over, we hear the television announcing a special event from Mr. Burn who reveals that the first ever nuclear monster has been created which coincides with Homere getting a phone call saying that he is hired to cage it. Meanwhile Bort and Liza are busy feeding Muggie poison which she somehow survives. They don’t even get punished and this is just way too absurd for a Sampsons episode.

We then go to Bort being at school the next day where he is being taught by a look alike substitute teacher after Mrs. Krabappel decided to date Principal Skanner.

Bort daydreams of something related to his name as he gets bored and tired of pant eating lesson despite being his specialty.

Meanwhile at the powerplant, Homere is seen with the nuclear monster which Mr. Burn uses as propaganda that nothing is wrong at the plant.

At break time, Bort is caught selling drugs once again and is made to warn people about drugs on the street as a punishment.

Not being able to stand the punishment, Bort runs away out of the city. He ends up missing and lands up on the news as the rest of the family watch television.

This shocks the family as they call the police to find him. The rest of this rather disjointed boring movie is that Bart is missing doing his own thing and the powerplant is trying to tame a nuclear monster.While out of the city Bort catches his best friend, Milhuse going with him.

Bort and Milhuse decide to, instead of returning to the city, to start a secret drug organization and become drug lords. Meanwhile back at the powerplant while being concerned about the fate of his son, Homere is busy putting an eye on the monster. He then overhears a conversation between Mr. Burn and Mr. Smith. In the conversation, he hears the true plan which is to take over the world through nuclear and destroy every single city with just the nuclear fire blasts of the monster. This shocks Homere as he goes to tell his friends, Len and Cerl. Mr. Burn catches Homere and fires him from his job. However, Homere is convinced and motivated to spread the message out to the public. He tells Liza, who says she will help as she wants to practice her own environmentalist activism.

Merge is with Muggie trying to find out where Bort is with Chief Wig. Chief Wig could not track him but did get a notification that there may be a drug trafficker from Shelbyville.Wigs also told Morge that it could be Bort considering his actions before he was caught earlier in the movie.

Mr. Burn finds out the Homere may have been spreading information after Mr. Smith tells him that Homere should have been blackmailed. The next moment he starts to hear a radio podcast with a familiar voice. Homer was at the KBBL radio station, voicing and singing Burn's plans.

Bun then orders that someone finds him and have him expelled. Burn manages to bribe Mayor Quimb who then writes a letter to expel the Simpsons family. At the same time Morge was ready to go out of the city to find Bort but with some help from other Sampsons cast members

The cast includes Sideshow Berb, sanna's litle helper, Sideshow mal, Groundkeeper willi, Krosty the Klon, Nad Flenders Merge Sampsons, Homere Sampsons and some unknown character with a blue top. This is where the movie truly flops. Why would Sideshow Berb want to go with them? why is he holding Sanna's little helper? why is he in his krosty the klon show attire? why does he want Bort unless she wants to murder him? Who is that guy in the blue top that we never see?

Anyways, they all decide to join up and go to find Bort in Shelbyville. meanwhile in Shelbyville, Bort and Milhuse are in an abandoned factory, trying out the remaining drugs they have.

However, Bort and Milhuse hear a gang going "What are you doing in our warehouse?" They look and see that it is another drug lord gang.

They call themselves the drug family and chased the boys out only for the leader, Dan Schneider looks alike to get the idea that they could join considering that they also do drugs. Upon giving them the offer at first Bort refused but then agreed to do so after Milhuse started to nag him about it. Slowly throughout the movie, Bort trains to become a drug lord and upon being seen as being good at his job and how experienced he is, Bort gets moved from newcomer status, to experienced member status.

Meanwhile back at the power plant, a bunch of investigators are seen questioning Mr. Burn while he defends his business. Mr. Burn realizes how much of a good asset Homere was at keeping things secret and sends Mr. Smith to go find him.

We see that days of traveling go by until the Bort search gang walk past a building and sees a strange ad with a familiar face.

Morge is shocked and Homere sees it as them having to go faster. They ask a stranger if they know who this kid is and the stranger shows them a newspaper article talking about a drug trafficking going on that involves a spikey haired kid and a blue haired kid. A few moments later as they run to look for him, Mr. Smith finally shows up to convince Homere to get back to his job. Homere refuses and after bribery and a long-winded argument, Mr. Smith leaves saying that he won't get his job back forever after this. But suddenly, a man mysteriously kidnaps Liza in front of Homere and runs away. The rest follow him. To be quick they ask the police nearby to give them a lift and he does.

Eventually they see the man stop with Liza by the warehouse. Morge and Homere get out of the police car to stop him with the police there to arrest him but then the door opens and they see Bort with them all being surprised to see Bort and Bort surprised to see them.

Meanwhile back at the plant, the monster eventually become powerful and crazy and finally breaks out of its cage. This causes an alarm to go off, Mr. Burn realizes how much of a mistake he has made and finally confesses the monster thing. Not being able to stop it, it manages to get out of the powerplant and cause destruction in Springfield. Not even the police could help.

Back at the warehouse, Bart, in complete guilt at what he has done runs away and the rest go on to chase him while the police storm into the warehouse and arrests everyone else involved and deports Milhuse back to Springfield. Flenders successfully gets hold of a gun and ends up in a garden with a river, he sees Borty and shoots the sniper at him. Bort is now dead Bort.

This along with what follows next would be the most controversial moment of the movie as not only does Bort die but the whole of Springfield and Shelbyville get destroyed. The rest of the gang see Bort dead half in the river and hear a huge noise. They see the nuclear monster from the powerplant with Homere thinking that Mr. Burn has already activated his plan.

The Monster then destroys the entirety of Shelbyville and eventually obliterates every life form on earth and destroys every plant and building and all that is left is a wasteland.A thousand years later, we see the cycle repeat itself as a mysterious Homer-like specimen starts to roam the now desolate earth.

The credit rolls, the end. This is the most disappointing stupidest movie ever, it’s no wonder it got such low scores. The characters weren’t being themselves; the plot is boring and generic and the ending is just stupid and anti-climactic. According to Groning he wanted this movie to be an episode or even just the season finale.But despite all these issues it is not as shot people say it is. It still looks like The Sampsons and a lot of the characters do what they do in the show but at the same time, one can see why it failed as it was obviously rushed to meet a deadline and made just to get money from merch.